10/26/12

An Open Letter to Mitt Romney, From My Unborn Child



Dear Mr. Romney,

This letter comes to you from the future.  You see, I am the unborn child of a loving and happy lesbian couple and even though I am not born yet, I know that I will be the luckiest child alive when I am born. Why?  Because I will be born into a family of two women that will love and support me and do everything in their power to be the best parents they can possibly be.  I’m sure you can relate to this notion, as you have raised five children of your own.  This leads me to some confusion.  Let me explain.

I know you believe that '"scientific studies of children raised by same-sex couples are almost nonexistent and that it may affect the development of children and thereby future society as a whole" (as reference in a recent article on the Huffington Post).  I took the liberty of doing some research on the matter myself, as I was not convinced that your statement was accurate.  I went straight to one of the best sources I could possibly think of, the American Psychological Association.  According to the APA:
Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation.  Additionally, lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing. Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children. Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships. Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships   (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).  
The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reason to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents. On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.
As you can see, Mr. Romney, the research clearly states that gay and lesbian couples are fit to be parents.  I would like to believe you are an intelligent man and deep down in your heart of hearts, you probably already know these facts to be true.  This leads me to believe that there is another reason you are vehemently opposed to gay marriage/parenting and feel good parenting only be achieved through the "traditional, nuclear marriage of one man and one woman".   I would also hate to ignore the fact that you seem to lack mentioning the many other types of “families” that exist in this country.  For example, single parents, children being raised by a family member other than a parent, children raised in foster care, etc.  For whatever reason, Mr. Romney, only gay parenting seems to be singled out when this issue is raised.  My question to you is, why are you so homophobic?  The question is very simple in nature and I know there must be a valid reason for your blatant disregard for the LGBT community, but I am completely stumped as to what that reason could be. 

My hope, in writing this letter, is that maybe for one second, you will open your eyes and take a minute to empathize with the wonderfully amazing privilege of being a parent.  Many parents, both gay and straight, don’t ever take the traditional road of bringing a child into this world.  In fact, both of my Moms are adopted by the most amazing families a person could ask for.  The fact of the matter is that all types of families exist in this world. Whether they are single, gay, straight, related or non-related, this is a time in our lives when families should come together under a single goal: to love and support their children.   There is too much violence and murder and strife and not enough love and support and caring.  Shouldn’t we be celebrating family, however it’s defined, in this modern time?  The answer is simple. Yes, we should.  Your family, Mr. Romney, is no better than mine will be when I am born. And it is no better than anyone else’s family that exists right now, in whatever form.  As a country, we should respect all families and treat them equally, because there is not one person who stands supreme enough in their power to judge who and what makes a good parent and a loving family.  And that is the honest truth. 

Respectfully yours,
The unborn child of a lesbian couple

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Unborn Child,

Consider this... you are lucky to have a loving mother who will allow you to be born rather than having an abortionist slice you into pieces and then suck your remains out of her womb with a vacuum. That is the fate that awaits many unborn children like yourself, because of liberals who believe that trees have souls, and animals should not be killed, but an unborn child is just a clump of cells, no different from a tumor.

L Hahn said...

Consider this Brave Anonymous: This woman is having a child from choice. I would venture to say you are a man and the bottom line is, you don't get to make that decision, decide which God we worship or don't worship, and until this country becomes a theocracy, your argument is moot. The Supreme Court has already determined this issue. Don't like it? Move to a theocratic country.

LBPheonix said...

Dear Anonymous,
You are an idiot. No one cares to hear your bigoted views. Stop wasting the time of those of us who have a fully functioning brain and want to appreciate this piece without your useless banter.

P.S. Anonymous' bulls*** aside, thank you Renee for putting this out there. A wonderful way to give the oppressed a voice. SAY IT LOUD! It's great to read this. :)

P.P.S, thank you L Hahn. The world needs more people like you who can defuse imbeciles in such an articulate manner.

Lisbet said...

I am a lesbian parent. My wife and I have three beautiful children, two little caucasian girls and a darling hispanic son. We are great parents if I do say so myself and most people we have dealt with respect and admire that. We are married (we got married in Iowa) but reside in Kentucky, so we have had to deal with the legal struggles of living in a state where gay marriage is not legally recognized and all the resulting custody issues. In Kentucky only one parent of each sex can legally adopt a child, you can see how this presents pitfalls. However I fully agree with anonymous in that abortion is evil and is based on ignorance and that most abortions are completely unwarranted. I know that my opinion on this issue is controversial and I'm sorry to offend anyone but I just had to say how I felt. In the rare cases where a young girl is raped or molested and ends up pregnant I feel like abortion is justified. Even though I still feel it's wrong and that there are other alternatives, I wouldn't attempt to enforce my views on that child or her gaurdians. However, with so many awesome gay and lesbian parents out there waiting for their baby to be ready to adopt, abortion seems like tragic waste of life, and the waste of a potential family.

bea so said...

Back in the elections last year, I had hoped that Obama and Romney will have platform of agendas for foster parenting and orphanages that encompasses social welfare. Here in the UK, Samantha Cameron is a huge advocate of independent foster agencies southwest england.

Mark Jones said...

Abortion should never be allowed even in the rare cases. In the first place, it wasn't the child's fault why he sprouted within you in the world. Let's try to see them as God's plan to us. Topics related to child support modification florida seem to be denied when Romney took his side to be an abortionist. It's better to have same-sex parents than deny your right to have one at all.

Sophie Tyler Neil said...

People does not trust the government nowadays. During the recession many declared bankruptcy and even consulted some lawyers for legal help but to no avail. I was in long island during the peak of the recession and during those times, you can feel the tension of the people just by walking down the street.

Ryan Donovan III said...

Being from Arkansas, a state that banned same sex marriage. I agree with Romney on this one. Church and government with be in ruckus when this happens. I can't seem to imagine being a lawyer if that would happen.

Jessica Owen said...

This case is a sensitive and a serious one. I remember when I’m working on court reporting west palm beach and encountered the same case, I swear that day was full of tension, but good thing everything went well in the end.

Johnny Gross said...

Issues like this one is best discussed with an expert when it comes to legal matters. This is to hear their intelligent opinion regarding the subject matter.

Ben Horton said...

I completely agree with your request. It puzzles me on why they don't agree with this. Everyone is entitled to their happiness, if signing a bill would bring joy to others then I would have no doubt signing it.

Paul Kelly said...

The issue covers more rather than the issue, that lies down to the struggle of couples with same sex dealing with contradicting laws and prohibitions. It concerns an unborn child's life, so I guess, that's where the problem here boils down. As we all know, they are already alive, thereof, abortion is a crime enough.

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