Dear Mr. Romney,
This letter comes to you from the future. You see, I am the unborn child of a loving and happy lesbian couple and even though I am not born yet, I know that I will be the luckiest child alive when I am born. Why? Because I will be born into a family of two women that will love and support me and do everything in their power to be the best parents they can possibly be. I’m sure you can relate to this notion, as you have raised five children of your own. This leads me to some confusion. Let me explain.
I know you believe that '"scientific studies of children raised by same-sex couples are almost nonexistent and that it may affect the development of children and thereby future society as a whole" (as reference in a recent article on the Huffington Post). I took the liberty of doing some research on the matter myself, as I was not convinced that your statement was accurate. I went straight to one of the best sources I could possibly think of, the American Psychological Association. According to the APA:
Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation. Additionally, lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing. Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children. Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships. Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).
The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reason to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents. On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.
As you can see, Mr. Romney, the research clearly states that gay and lesbian couples are fit to be parents. I would like to believe you are an intelligent man and deep down in your heart of hearts, you probably already know these facts to be true. This leads me to believe that there is another reason you are vehemently opposed to gay marriage/parenting and feel good parenting only be achieved through the "traditional, nuclear marriage of one man and one woman". I would also hate to ignore the fact that you seem to lack mentioning the many other types of “families” that exist in this country. For example, single parents, children being raised by a family member other than a parent, children raised in foster care, etc. For whatever reason, Mr. Romney, only gay parenting seems to be singled out when this issue is raised. My question to you is, why are you so homophobic? The question is very simple in nature and I know there must be a valid reason for your blatant disregard for the LGBT community, but I am completely stumped as to what that reason could be.
My hope, in writing this letter, is that maybe for one second, you will open your eyes and take a minute to empathize with the wonderfully amazing privilege of being a parent. Many parents, both gay and straight, don’t ever take the traditional road of bringing a child into this world. In fact, both of my Moms are adopted by the most amazing families a person could ask for. The fact of the matter is that all types of families exist in this world. Whether they are single, gay, straight, related or non-related, this is a time in our lives when families should come together under a single goal: to love and support their children. There is too much violence and murder and strife and not enough love and support and caring. Shouldn’t we be celebrating family, however it’s defined, in this modern time? The answer is simple. Yes, we should. Your family, Mr. Romney, is no better than mine will be when I am born. And it is no better than anyone else’s family that exists right now, in whatever form. As a country, we should respect all families and treat them equally, because there is not one person who stands supreme enough in their power to judge who and what makes a good parent and a loving family. And that is the honest truth.
The unborn child of a lesbian couple