By: Rebecca Jones
Are you proud to be a lesbian? Although declaring yourself a lesbian is much easier now, there are many who face problems in basic relationships. Relationships are a tough call. On top of that if you are meant to deal with an added prejudice that you face from the society then relationships become a very difficult game indeed. To top it all, the yardsticks and dating tips that are easily available, mostly adhere to the traditional heterosexual couples. Does this mean that you are going to give up your choices and live life according to standards that have been set by other people? Not in the least. Help is where you look for it.
The first step
If you like a girl, how do you take the first step? Firstly you will have to ascertain that she is interested in a gay relationship. Let us say, you like a girl, but are not sure whether she is gay. How to look out for the symbols of being gay? There are many symbols that are universally associated with being a lesbian. Some of the commonest ones are a rainbow or an inverted pink triangle.
In case you cannot find such signs, try breaking the ice with her and see her opinion on various issues. You could casually bring up the lesbian topic. The best way to go about it is by going for outings or coffees together. This helps you to know and understand her as well. Remember a strong relation always starts with a strong friendship. In the course of time you can come up with the truth. You could try going to pubs instead of a cafe as it is much easier to warm up after you have had a drink or two.
Making it work
Yet the most difficult part is making the relationship last. Remember one of the most important expectations in a gay relationship is equality. Under no circumstance get dominant or let the other person dominate you. Avoid competition or role playing. Another very important aspect in this regard is to discuss whether you want to be open about your relation or keep it under wraps. Since this is a sensitive issue, you really need to ensure that both you and your partner feel the same way about this. As in any other relation sexual health goes a long way in terms of relationship maintenance. Ensure that your relationship does not die the common lesbian bed death. Take time to know and understand her. You might not need to compromise but adjusting to each other’s wants and needs is very important.
While societies all over the world are increasingly becoming tolerant of homosexual relationships, you will be well aware that there will always be some stubborn jackass out there, who will believe that such relations are ‘unnatural’ and ‘abnormal’. This makes it doubly difficult for lesbians to not just maintain a healthy relation but also lead their daily lives. That is why it is good idea to socialize with people belonging to this community. This not only helps you deal with the social isolation but also allows you to pick up tips from your surrounding on how to make your relation work.