Hot Dyke on Dyke Action
7/4/08 Labels: Butch, Mr. Leigh, relationships, sex 12 commentsGirls who are boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they're girls
Who do girls like they're boys
Always should be someone you really love
-Blur
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they're girls
Who do girls like they're boys
Always should be someone you really love
-Blur
As ladies who love other ladies, we often find ourselves in the Butch/Femme dynamic in our relationships.
"Who wears the pants?" is a phrase I know we've all heard when questioned about our relationships- pass the barf bag. But what about our butch brothers and sisters who enjoy the same kind of masculinity within their relationships?
Personally speaking, I have never found myself to be attracted to other butch folk. I suppose I'm just a sucker for a skirt and a pair heels. However, I once danced with a rather sexy dyke and I had a really intense moment. We danced and grinned against each other. It wasn't an alpha dog experience but more of a boi on boi porno scene. She was forceful with me and it was surprisingly sexy, something I wasn't expecting. It got me thinking about the plus sides to what it would mean to date a lady like me.
Could I go butch on butch???
I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
Really, if you think about it, it makes sense.
It's the epitome of a queer relationship.
Two girls who look like boys who fuck each other. Hot, right?
It is quite the gender bender as well, and thats always fun.
If you have never considered the more masculine side of our fence, allow me to list a few horrendously stereotypical, but still possible upsides you might benefit from...
- If you can find butch lady that's a similar size as you, then VIOLA! New wardrobe!!
- Kiss them anytime, anywhere and no one ever has to worry about smearing the lipstick.
- You can call them to change your tire, not AAA.
- No long hair clogging the drains of your shower.
- Share the same social views on what the world is like for someone doesn't appear straight.
- Nothing will ever be broken between 2 Tool Slingers in the house.
I think thats definitely a list to consider. Enough to switch sides?
Maybe if I'm ever single again I'll give it a whirl...
Maybe.
It's whoever you're attracted to! :)
Though I know a LOT of butches who cringe at the thought. :P
You know I never really did get this butch-femme divide.
I just am so not into pidgeon holing people into a certain 'group'
After the first few minutes, what they look like becomes less relevant than what they are like.
It's funny to me that so many queer people (and gender queer people, at that!) wouldn't consider the thought of exploring attractiveness to others who identify as masculine or butch. It reminds me of straight men who become a little too offended with the idea of being with other men.
I appreciate this post! And I appreciate any discussion about this topic. As a "butch" person madly in love with another gender queer person, I've felt pretty lonely in a community that tends toward the butch/femme experience. Thanks for recognizing the possibilities of all sorts of attraction and for showing support.
3 cheers for the Gender Queer Revolution!!
We say that we want to be accepted whole-heartedly for our brand of loving and yet we still shuffle ourselves into heterosexual categories. A woman who likes a woman is still a woman unless she truly feels and identifies otherwise. In that vein there are no "he's" and "she's" just "us'".
Why within our own ranks do we allow ourselves to adhere to that heterosexual stereotype and what's more why is it that we find two fems more appreciable than the possibility of to butch ladies. Its funny my "homophobic" brother has the same perspective, two men are an abomination, two women that look like men are an abomination but two hot girly chicks??? RIGHT ON! Do we really want to be on the same wavelength as that jackass???
Anonymous-
I suspect that this is a subject that could be written upon at leingth by any number of psychologists and anthropologists.
To me, it boils down to the idea that we live in a "gender binary" society. Our society sees people's genders being either exactly male or female and not on any kind of spectrum. The idea that women play video games and want action packed games instead of ones based on Desperate Housewives and pink playstations has yet to really penetrate the brains of the game executives who still believe women and girls prefer one type of game and men and boys prefer another. I am a woman. I play action video games and love to watch action movies (if the lead is a beautiful woman in a tight outfit that's a definate bonus), and I watch anime and read manga. I think a lot of it is simply our preconcieved notions of what is female and what is male.
Oooo Sei I want to make sure you know about this site:
http://lesbiangamers.typepad.com/
These women are superstars. :)
Lezident, I have the site bookmarked already lol. Still, thank you :) I grew up playing video games, and I love playing various games. The horrible thing is, and I'm thinking of writing about it, I've experienced more homophobia and negative reactions to my gender/sexuality in the MMO I love to play than I have in the real world.
Oh yes, and I love that site. I stop by at least once a day to check on what's going on there.
That doesn't surprise me; if someone doesn't have to look into my eyes, they're more likely to talk smack. I don't know which MMO you're playing, but I know my buddy Joey plays WoW and is in some sort of LGBT guild that does annual pride parades through the game. Maybe you can start something like that in yours?
Lezident, I'm in WoW. In fact, the nickname Sei came from my 'main', an Orc Hunter. A friend of mine and I finally started a guild where I'm safe from a lot of the homophobia. I do think I know of your friend's guild, though, and I may go ahead and track it down. There were some news stories about an LGBTIQ friendly guild which sparked a lawsuit.
And, you're right. If people don't have to look at me, they don't think I have feelings or they don't care. It's made me very nervous about revieling anything about me online. I've been thrilled to be part of this site where I feel much more relaxed and can start to really get comfortable with my sexuality.
I have to admit, I'm a "sucker for the skirt and a pair of heels", too, the femme grrlz make me melt, even though they're nothing but trouble...