I remember when my wedding dress arrived in the mail. I discovered the simple slip dress online at David's Bridal. Even though I kind of hate that store, my budget just doesn't allow for fancy bridal shops, and I can’t justify spending obscene cash on a dress that I’ll wear once. But that’s not to say I didn’t care about what I’d be wearing. For some people, the dress is one of the most important parts, and I think that's fine. For me, I just wanted something pretty; I wanted something simple, not too feminine, not puffy, no skirts full of tulle or crinoline. It was only available online, so I couldn’t try it on, but there was a special feature. You could press a button: “see this dress in motion” and the model would come to life, swaying from side to side and then twirling, the ivory fabric flowing like soft water around her legs. This was The Dress.
I’d heard other women talk about this feeling—they compare it to the moment when they knew their partner was The One. Often it comes when trying on dresses in the store, stepping onto the pedestal surrounded by mirrors, opening your eyes and looking around. Magazines call it the, “Oh, Mom” moment. Tears fall, your mother and maid of honor flock to your side and coo. “Oh, this is it! This is The One!” The dress you’ll be married in, the dress you will wear on the most important day of your life, the dress you’ll be wearing when the other One sees you for the first time as his wife. When I watched the dress move, I couldn’t help but imagine it swirling around my toes, or how good I would look in the gown, and how Luck’s eyes would fill with tears as she saw me walking toward her.
But that aisle walk is something else we wanted to reconsider. I don't want my father to walk me down the aisle like I'm chattel he's giving away. And deciding who walks down the aisle first made us certain that we didn't want to set up some bride/groom paradigm--even though people are constantly asking us who is "the guy" and who's "the girl." I don't try to explain lesbian gender dynamics, because it's not that simple. Both of us are more butch than femme, though I'm more likely to wear a girly shirt, and Luckdragon is the ice hockey goalie and I'm the poet. But one thing we knew was that we wanted to approach this marriage together.
So these two soft butch girls will be walking down the aisle together, in dresses.