Lesbiatopia is happy to celebrate it's 100th post - in my eyes, it's a milestone and very exciting that we've come this far. In an effort to pop open the proverbial bottle of champagne, the Contributors of Lesbiatopia have decided to share with you 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Why 69 and not 100? Well, because when you're a lesbian, 69 is so much better and in the words of Dubbs, "We're here, we're queer, and we're sharing it with the world!" So here you go world, our elusive, exclusive and ejaculatory list of delicious fabulousness. Try not to drool while reading. And to the boys - no need to feel inferior, this was all done in good fun.


Lesberita
1. You don’t have to worry about gagging from a “deep throat job”
2. You never have to worry about finding the toilet seat up
3. You can fix your own car and get your hair done within the same afternoon
4. Your orgasms are real. Always. And so are hers.
5. You never have to swallow
6. You never have to worry about facial hair touching you, anywhere
7. No one cares if you don’t wear a bra
8. You can wear a dick and use it better than most guys
9. Foreplay is an art
10. You are your own form of birth control
11. Women smell amazing
12. You don’t feel like a piece of meat, when she checks you out
13. You can cuddle without feeling like you have to “put out”
14. You find a woman’s intellect to be sexy
15. You watch porn for entertainment purposes
16. You feel bad for strippers
17. Orgasms are like Cornucopias – they should called the horn of plenty
18. You never have to worry about breaking a nail, because you don’t have any
19. You can pretty much have sex anywhere, at anytime, while flying completely under the radar
20. Sex in public bathrooms is so much easier
21. 69ing is so much more fun (and a lot easier too)

Hillbilly
22. I love the smell of a woman
23. I get to do the motor boat in my girlfriend’s fabulous tits every day!
24. I love the emotional availability of a woman
25. I love the nurturing care a woman offers
26. I love watching my girlfriend get ready for a night on the town – watching her get out of the shower naked, put on her perfume, do her makeup
27. I like the feel of a soft pussy over a hard, intrusive penis
28. I love cuddling and feeling my girlfriend’s soft skin
29. I love kissing a woman’s soft lips (yes, both of them – cuz I know that’s what you’re thinking!)
30. I get to have a best friend and a partner all in one
31. I get to wear her clothes and use her make-up!!!

Dubbs
32. great nicknames...like carpet muncher
33. sex on a first date...without fear of pregnancy
34. "no man's ever going to tell ME what to do!"
35. it's like dating yourself
36. double the wardrobe, double the FUN!
37. WAY less body hair
38. no spooging in your face
39. women taste better
40. especially the vegan ones
41. one word...BOOBIES!!!
42. "we were just switching clothes, officer!"
43. No 2 clits are alike!
44. Women make sexier bedroom noises
45. Lingerie you can BOTH wear!
46. Double headed dildos
47. The ultimate in feminism
48. Chick flicks are just movies in a lesbians house
49. better kisses
50. no scratchy faces
51. you LIKE when she grabs your ass
52. if it really came down to it, you could totally find SOME dude who'd pay to watch you go down on your girlfriend
53. women don't pass out after orgasms
54. you can do her front ways, back ways, and side ways cuz the wrist moves freer than the hips
55. fingers always fit
56. never having to deal with "morning wood"
57. less farting...which I don't actually know is true but women do not take pride in it
58. you could call her your "roommate" and it's ok

Paula the Surf Mom
59. premature ejaculation? what IS that?
60. Eating pussy is good for the complexion… it always makes mine pretty rosy any way.
61. The trashman never sees used condoms in your trash when he hauls it away.
62. If you work it right you and your partner never have to buy your own drinks when you go out… all you have to do it make out… the guys in the bar will just keep em coming just so you keep it going.
63. Lesbians know that you can do more with your fingers then send text messages.
64. Somebody will always has a tampon in an emergency
65. And your partner won’t get all embarrassed if you send them to the store to get you some.
66. You are very popular… girls like lesbians, they all want to kiss us….guys like lesbians, they all want to watch movies about us… everybody likes lesbians.
67. Two mommies in the house are always better then one daddy on the golf course
68. You are sure somebody can cook
69. It good to have a partner who has a sense of fashion

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Sometimes when I'm not working too hard, my mind likes to wander and usually leads me down random thought processes that have nothing to do with anything. For example, the other day I was trying to decide what I would label myself in the lesbian community. I feel as though I am caught somewhere between very femme and very butch (my "normal" look, seen at right). I often dress like a tomboy and act like one too, yet I like to wear makeup and can even be seen in heels on rare occasions. I started to wonder, is there a name for this? I think that maybe I am a femmeboi (I also may have just made that up), although I did dress in drag recently on Halloween (me in drag, seen at below) when I went out with friends into the craziness that is West Hollywood on Halloween. Interestingly enough, I seemed to be mistaken for a dude quite a bit. To my own surprise, I actually had fun dressing in drag and think it is always interesting to push the boundaries of gender stereotypes. I felt like I was being checked out more by gay guys (than straight women) which was surprising, but maybe the women were on to me. Anyway, my rambling on all of this and my day-dreaming thoughts have lead me to ask you the following question:

do you ever wonder where you fall on the butch-femme scale?

This is not just in regards to physical appearances either, but I'm asking you to dig down on a much deeper level; emotional, personality, outlook on life, etc. How a lesbian dresses may not be reflective of their personality, although most women seem to mirror their general demeanor through their appearance.

Most lesbian women tend to fall somewhere between extremely femme and extremely butch. There's a lot of variation in between and although I'm generally not into putting a label on or stereotyping people, I found a very interesting and thorough quiz that really breaks down the butch/femme spectrum. I will warn you, at 100 questions the test is rather lengthy, although it seems to be complete and thorough and if you ask me, it's definitely worth taking the time to fill it out. Plus, it's pretty funny too. You might even surprise yourself when it comes to the final answer, which isn't just a one-word response, but rather a lengthy explanation of why you are what you are.

I'd love to see your results, so please post them in the comments section. In case you're wondering, I got Androgyne, which exactly in the middle of the butch/femme spectrum (and makes the most sense too!)

Take the Quiz here!

Here is the full spectrum list, for your reference:
EF - Extreme Femme
LF - Lipstick Femme
CF - Classic Femme
PF - Practical Femme
SF - Strong Femme
SA - Soft Androgyne
AN - Androgyne
HA - Hard Androgyne
GB - Gentle Butch
FB - Feminist Butch
CB - Classic Butch
BB - Boot Butch
EB - Extreme Butch

Post your results in the comments section!!

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I grew up in New England and never once met (or even saw) a celebrity in the 24 years that I lived there. Sure, I'd heard about the occasional celebrity being in town to film movies, like 'Mystic River' and 'The Departed', but not once did I ever cross paths with someone famous. You can imagine my surprise when I moved to LA to find that celebrity sightings are as common as pigeons at the park. It was a bit of a "culture shock" for me when I volunteered at a charity event this past weekend where celebrities mixed and mingled with all the other attendees. It's exciting to see many recognizable faces but it is truly awesome to spot someone who you are a huge fan of and greatly admire. Amidst all the famous faces yesterday, I not only spotted, but was lucky enough to meet and talk to Molly Shannon.

Ever since her early days of Saturday Night Live, I've always been a huge fan of Molly Shannon. I find her style of humor to be hilarious, and I've followed her for as long as I can remember. Yes, I own "Saturday Night Live: The Best of Molly Shannon" and the movie "Superstar" and I truly believe there's nothing like a little Mary Katherine Gallagher to cheer you up when your feeling blue, not to mention all her other various characters and impressions from Saturday Night Live. Here are some of my favorites:

I admit I had to restrain myself from throwing my hands up in the air and yelling, "SUPERSTAR!!!" like the classic character that Molly Shannon portrays so well, but to avoid making a spectacle, I remained calm and collected, shook her hand and introduced myself. It was awesome!!! If you know me, you would know that I rarely (and I mean rarely) get tongue-tied, but I was pretty much at a loss for words coming face-to-face with one of my favorite actresses of all time. Molly Shannon was not only friendly and amicable, but she's a real class act. Molly, if you're reading this, thanks for taking the time to come talk to one of your fans, it really means a lot!


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I am a huge Nip/Tuck fan - in fact, I've been watching the show since it aired on FX for the very first episode on 7/22/2003. As Season 5 premiered last week, on 10/30/2007, I got so excited I wet my pants a little and thought I'd provide you with some titillating glimpses of the up-coming season.

Nip/Tuck has featured several gay and trans-gendered characters over the years, including the deliciously attractive Famke Jansen, who played Julia's (Joely Richardson) MTF life coach. Then there was the erotic dream that Christian (Julian McMahon) had where he and his partner, Sean (Dylan Walsh), elope on a gay trip together during a time when Christian is questioning his own sexuality. Of course we cannot forget one of the main supporting characters, Liz Winters (Roma Maffia) a dyke with a sense of humor, who plays an anesthesiologist working under Christian and Sean. Liz is very secure in her sexual orientation and dates Alanis Morissette with a dramatic flair for several episodes.

With the consistent gay and lesbian characters on the show, I could only hope that Season 5 would have something spectacularly sexy in store for us. Boy was I right!! According to TV Guide,
Portia de Rossi will be joining the cast for nine episodes, playing a manipulative lesbian Mom whose teen daughter wants to go under the knife.

What I'm 100 percent certain you don't know is that Portia's character is going to be involved in a hot and tumultuous relationship with - everybody's favorite MILF - Joely Richardson. That's right, Julia's switching teams for Ellen's hotty of a girlfriend. And word on the set is when it comes to their sex scenes, they are leaving tame at the door (along with a few choice articles of clothing). Of course, this is Nip/Tuck we're talking about and I'm pretty sure the word tame has been permanently written out of the script.

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is the first lesbian role that Portia de Rossi will be playing since she's come out of the closet. Ironically, Rosie O'Donnell has gone hetero, at least for television purposes. Rosie will be back again this season as the white trash lotto winner and uber-straight horndog, Dawn Budge, who bedded Christian last season. This time around, Rosie will be riding Oliver Platt instead of Christian; either way it's sure to be a sight for sore eyes (sorry Rosie!).

For all my gay boyfriends who have religiously drooled over the studly Julian McMahon, I have some exciting news for you as well. McMahon said in regards to the storyline last year in which his character questioned his sexuality and seemed to be experiencing sexual desire for his long-time friend and professional partner Dr. Sean McNamara, it didn't go far enough. "I think we have to notch up our kink level a little bit," he declared in an interview with Ed Martin from the Television Critics Association Tour on TV.com.

The most exciting part of all about Season 5 is that all the hot kinky excitement is slated to occur in my new place of residence, Los Angeles, specifically in Beverly Hills. For those of you who don't know, LA is a place where getting plastic surgery is like getting your teeth cleaned which is why Troy/MacNamara's move there is so appropriate. According to creator Ryan Murphy, Season Five will "explore the temptations of L.A. and how they affect our characters." Now that the season is upons us, you will pretty much find me glued to my TV every Tuesday night at exactly 10pm (PST) and you can be sure I'll be enjoying some sweet daydreams of Joley Richardson and Portia de Rossi rolling around in true lesbian fashion. There really is a God!

What are you looking forward to in Season 5?

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